Road to Perfection
“Perfection is knowing that it’s okay not to be perfect!”
I believe I have attracted many readers merely by the use of word “perfection” and the phrase “Road to Perfection” is like a cherry on top! Most people, myself included, always strive to be perfect. And I believe that is why the title piqued your curiosity. However, this blog will challenge your beliefs - especially if you strive for perfection - but I invite you to read it with an open mind.
The Hidden Cost of Perfection
Just think about this—in your dire need to be perfect, what are you losing? What are you trying to achieve by being a perfectionist? I strongly believe that this drive for perfection often compels us to lose our values such as respect, integrity, and honesty. Don’t you think these are invaluable qualities to have and losing it to things that might not even matter after a while is a steep price to pay?
The Slippery Slope: Perfection vs. Obsession
There is a very thin line between perfection and obsession. There was a time in my early life where I would often cross that line without realizing it and I believe I still do it sometimes. I was good at academics and was always expected to be so. In my need to get the perfect grades, I knew that I would have to spend all my time to study, and more so when exams were approaching. I prepared tirelessly, doing everything I could to succeed. This left me with very little time to hone myself in other aspects of life. I became socially awkward when I was at party or events with friends and family because I did not really understand or learn how to interact with others. I did not learn important life skills such as building relationships, understanding others' beliefs and perspectives that would build me to grow up to be a well-rounded adult.
Growing Through Imperfection
I did not realize this when I was still young. But when I moved to the US for further education, I quickly realized that I did not pay enough attention to anything other than academics. I had to grow into it and with time, very awkward moments and interactions, complete disastrous situations and embarrassments, I eventually grew into it and today I am proud of the progress I have made so far and continue to build on it.
When Ego Blocks Integrity
Qualities such as honesty and integrity are also often lost in trying to be perfect all the time. Consider this - you consider yourself to be a perfectionist. So any mistake - big or small - is not acceptable to you. Now say you make a mistake while working with a colleague. You realize that it is your mistake but you keep on coming up with excuses or explanations which you know are not true, but you still do it anyway regardless of the fact that your colleague could get into trouble for it. This is simply because now your ego has stepped in and will not let you back down or accept that it was your mistake because your mind is not wired to accept imperfection.
But perfectionism doesn't stop at work — it leaks into our personal lives too.
When we expect perfection from everyone around us, it not only makes the other person unhappy, it also makes us unhappy as well because that level of perfectionism does not exist and may not even matter to the other person. When we do not get the same level of perfection, we tend to be controlling and then are often disappointed with what others do for us. But in that very moment, we forget that we should be grateful for their help rather than complaining about the imperfections of their work and drive them away from us.
Excellence Without Obsession
Let me be clear: I’m not saying perfection is bad. Striving for excellence and quality is vital—these are ingredients of any meaningful success. But there is a very thin line between being perfect and being obsessed. Most of us don't notice when we cross it.
You may relate to my story—or not—but I hope you take away that on your own road to perfection, you might unintentionally harm yourself and others. Respect erodes. Relationships fray.
Rewriting the Script
Since childhood I have been trained to drive myself to perfection - nothing less than perfection was acceptable to my parents and eventually it “wired” my brain in the same way. Many people are brought up in a similar environment and I am quite certain that those people are entangled in perfection’s grip without realizing it. I am not blaming anyone here, my point is that parents choose how they want to raise their kids which is not under our control. However, as adults, it is our responsibility to figure out what matters to us and start “rewiring” our minds to help us drive in that direction.
Questions Worth Asking
Every time you feel the need for things to be perfect, ask yourself—
What is it costing me to get that one extra point to get perfect score?
What values might I be sacrificing?
Is it truly worth the obsession?
I’ve learned it’s not worth the cost. I now work to recognize that obsession before it takes hold. I still value excellence—but now I ask whether it honors my values or erodes them.
Where have you mistaken perfection for integrity? I’m listening..
