Beyond Lessons: Choosing Change over Survival
"I have no complaints about my path and the places it has taken me; enough complaints to fill a circus tent about other things, may be, but the path I've chosen has always been the right one, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way".
-The Notebook, Noah Calhoun (Nicholas Sparks)
I love this quote from the Notebook because it taught me to own my life choices. What other people saw as my mistakes were simply moments—mine to live and learn from. They are the choices I made to build and live the life of my dreams.
It took me a long time to realize and understand that my life is my journey. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life - both personally and professionally. I've been lucky enough to have a few kindred souls who have been supportive of me. I always take their advice because they know me well enough to guide me to where I want to go and who I want to be. I am very grateful to have such role models in my life. However, lately I've been questioning a lot of things including the advice of some of my supporters.
When I launched my website, several people asked me what's the purpose behind it and what gave you the idea. My response would be that my life journey has been very different than the definition of "normal" life that we have adopted since our childhood. I didn’t choose the easy road. I chose the one that felt like me. And sometimes, that meant walking alone.
While watching a video by one of my favorite motivational speakers, Simon Sinek, I began reflecting again on the why behind my website. At the time, I was also reading his book Start with Why, and I started asking myself: “Why?” I realized it’s not just my love for writing or helping people who think differently. What began as an attempt to make sense of my own confusion became a companion for others walking the difficult road. My WHY is the inspiration and satisfaction of making a difference in someone's life and \ making the world a better place.
I was in a rough phase of my life both personally and professionally when someone I deeply care about said "Our mistakes are part of God's lessons". And having heard that statement after I got myself out of both situations, I couldn't help but wonder the timing of it all. It almost felt as if this was meant to be. I had an epiphany and started wondering, "What about changing the conditions that led to this mishap?" "Can we not change the culture of toxicity rather than just learning how to deal with it and teaching the next generation the same?"
I don't question if we learn from our mistakes; however, I do question is that the only purpose? We often forget that we can choose to change; to make a difference so the next generation does not have to deal with what we went through. Why are we as a society so focused only on learning and teaching instead of changing the culture when we have the chance to?
One of the best examples that I have is about office politics. I don’t like office politics and try to steer clear of it at all costs, sometimes even at the cost of my growth prospects. When I first started my career, I did not really understand the "politics" of work. With experience, I started to learn about it. I've had mentors over the years who share my hatred of office politics and helped me navigate through it and I kept thinking to myself - now that they are in this position, can they not change the dynamics instead of simply teaching me how to deal with it? While this may sound like resistance to learning and adapting to the environment, it really is about making a change to make life easier for the coming generations. Politics in work culture is inevitable today. But we also need to think about changing it.
I strongly believe that if the right people realize that they can do more than just teach the next generation, then they can make a difference and build a better workplace so the next generation does not have to deal with the same challenges. It's ambitious - yes. But change always starts with belief. And this applies not just to office politics but to any challenges that we face or things we don’t like.
I am a big believer of "change starts with you" because if I don't change the world, no one will. Blogging is my attempt to change the world for the better and make it a more pleasant place to be. I work to bring that change in the workplace by influencing peers and superiors and by challenging the status quo. I am determined to build a better future for myself and the coming generations.
Ask yourself - What if the real lesson isn’t how to endure – but how to transform what we inherited? Let’s stop passing down coping strategies. Let’s start passing down courage. Change begins not with endurance, but with transformation.
